New Chapter in Life

Yes you read that right.

Your girl here finally graduated from residency, now starting a new chapter in life. I never thought this day would come. Just a few months ago I felt like I am trapped in a tunnel with no way out. Crying and asking God would this ever ends?

Thankfully God listens. I passed my board exams and graduated from residency. Although probably with my sanity barely hanging on. With mental and physical health problems that will need some time to heal.

The first few weeks after graduation was hard. I woke up in the morning with the first thought of the day was “what do I need to do today?” thinking of endless papers, reports and things I needed to do. Anything to escape the wrath of the teachers that seemed to be out of nowhere at random, doing something and producing something to silence the people that say I am too slow, too lazy, too emotional.

My insomnia wasn’t getting better at first, with me sleeping late into the night and me waking up multiple times. Which I know now is the time for me to pray and calm myself down. Which I did, in a few weeks after my graduation, I slept peacefully at night.

Still have those migraines (that I never experienced before residency), now it happens about once a month, which is not the best, but I pray that it will get better.

I have carpal tunnel now, but I am grateful my new work place is very tech savvy and most of the paperwork are digital. Handwriting aggravated the pain, which is a bummer since I like writing by pen too, thank God for fountain pens and computer keyboards.

Scoliosis is something I never expected to have, but I do have it now. No wonder my back hurts so much I couldn’t stand up straight sometimes. I am thankful to have my ergonomic chair at home, sneakers and friends in physiotherapy.

I deactivated my instagram for almost a year now and I have no plans to get back now. My subconscious always see the happy posts and compare my life to them, even though I reminded myself over and over that I am thankful of the life that I have now, my mind always find a way to compare. Deactivating instagram has been a blessing for me. At first it was weird, not opening the app and seeing how people are doing, but then I breathe easier.

I think not a lot of people talk about the lasting mental and physical health problems from residency, but it exists. I am not ready to talk about the mental health aspect that much, but one day I might.

My God has been so kind to me, everything is right on time, even if at first I didn’t see it. I pray that after this it will be better, which I am sure it will, because of how God kept His promises to me.

Anyway, stay tuned for more updates. I hope after this I’ll be more consistent in updating this space. Thank you for every one who takes their time reading this random person rant on her own blog.

God is good.