Hi everyone! As I scrolled through Tiktok, I landed to the relatable side of Tiktok. Which were the part where people with nice skin telling their acne story. Or where people with acne talk about their journey.
What is it about our face that makes us want to achieve perfection? I guess because people identify other people with their faces, and if you are pretty or handsome it does help in life 🥲
So here I am wanting to make a post about my acne journey. I don’t know if you would enjoy reading it but I’d like to pen it down ✒️
Disclaimer: This is my story, what works for me may not work for you. Please see a professional healthcare provider for advice, not some zombie doctor who doesn’t dabble in dermatology and writes blogs in her free time because she is way too shy to appear in any social media.
But do share your acne story if you have one. Living in a very physically oriented country (not as bad as some other Asian countries though thankfully), makes me aware of how much our looks play part in our daily lives.
So for fellow acne fighters or acne survivors (?) out there, hang in there, I’ve been there too.
As someone who is always have some degree of interest in skincare and makeup (I wear makeup daily and took care of my skin). I dabbled into skincare and sun protection when I was 18 (a bit late but better late than never) and makeup when I was 21 (and it’s because I went on a “date” 😂).
I had relatively clear skin before I went to university. I went to the dermatologist here and there but overall okay ish skin.
How some people makes a big deal out of it.
All hell breaks loose when I was in my fourth year of university, maybe it’s the combination of stress of thesis and being a med student. I started getting breakouts in every part of my face. My chin, cheeks, nose and forehead.
It was so bad that when I went to the mall I saw sales associates started chasing me to offer some acne medications. Not only in Surabaya, but even in Singapore 😪 I would saw these women jogging and sprinting towards me whenever I walked passed the pharmacy or some kind of beauty product store.
Mask weren’t a thing anyway back then. So paired with my pale ass skin (yo girl here is a zombie. Of course she has pale skin), my acne and post acne scars was on display for everyone to see 😂
I avoided well lit beauty store like the plague since they highlighted my skin.
And when I started my HO, the nurses would comment things like “wow your skin is full of acne.” Something like that.
I remember one of my friends said, “why don’t you do something about your skin? It’s so bad.”
When I went out with mom some of her friends would say things like “your daughter’s skin so bad. Please change her pillowcase every night and don’t let her touch her face so much.”
Wait, let me try to find a photo of my skin
That’s me with little bit of makeup and using the blurry front camera of iPhone 6s anyway. I think I had worse state than this but I couldn’t find a photo.
Also, see the eyebags 😂 that means I’ve been a zombie since a long time ago.
So what helped me?
1. The right dermatologist.
When I said right, I meant the one who takes care of you wholeheartedly and good for your mental health ✨ the one you believe in and comfortable with.
Shoutout to dr. AP 🥰
I started seeing dr. AP because my grandpa said he likes dr. AP (and my grandpa is your typical Chinese grandpa you know. It’s not easy to find a doctor who vibes well with him, especially younger doctors)
He started the session with saying that my acne is not as bad as it seemed (don’t let other people said to you otherwise he said) and he said confidently,
“I will help you heal. I will help you heal so you don’t even need to see the dermatologist anymore.”
dr. AP, 2015
Whoa. So confident. I like this guy already.
He proceed to take some pictures of my skin and then explaining what will he do. (He knows I am a med student at this point).
He said that I have sensitive skin so no facial, no injections, no stinging alcohol products for me. He will give the gentlest treatment.
Then, he prescribed some creams and he asked me what sunscreen and makeup did I use and how I like it. If I like it I could continue using it. Even if I have like a favorite facial wash or moisturizer I could continue and he’ll prescribe the treatment around them.
He said that my acne is only temporary and he said to see when I turn 24.
I remember using his prescribed medications and getting better and better. Seeing him every month was nice too, he is the type of doctor that likes to joke around and never criticize. 10/10 ✨
6 months later he said that I could stop seeing him and just continue with the medications, and only make an appointment when really needed.
😱😱😱
So I did continue with his medications for a while, and as time goes by I learn about my skin and what my skin likes (what kind of cleanser, what kind of moisturizer) and don’t like (the ingredients I am sensitive to) and learning as a doctor how to take care of them.
When I turned 24, dr AP was right. My skin did significantly get better. I only had occasional acne and by then I know my skin better too.
I owe dr AP credit for my skin now. Thankyou for believing in me (as a doctor, capable of researching and taking care of my own skin) and being so open minded towards other products.
2. Loving your skin.
I know it’s hard right now, especially in social media when you see these influencers with clear, poreless, blemish less, and glowing skin even you could see it from miles away.
Those people would made me insecure too back then. Won’t lie, they looked amazing, I just wished I could have those kind of skin.
It’s hard to love your skin when it’s full of acne, oily or way too dry. When it doesn’t glow or not in their best state. When you see the pores on your nose and cheeks and wishing them to be like those photos with filters on.
But you are born with the skin you have now. They did so much for you, if you know what the skin does everyday, you’ll know that they are working hard for you.
Very, very hard. It is the largest organ of the body.
It doesn’t have to be a post of how much you love your skin or anything that people perceived as self love nowadays. It could be silent and only yourself knows how much you love your own skin.
Loving your skin looks like…
Hydrating enough. From inside and outside. Drinking enough water for yourself everyday. Using moisturizer that works for your skin.
Protecting your skin the way you can. Sunscreens. Avoiding prolonged sun exposure. Avoiding smoking etc.
Seeing the characteristics of your skin and making adjustments for them.
Listen to your skin, treat it well, it will be worth it. I promise.
3. Give it time.
Be patient! Change doesn’t comes instantly. I needed a few years for my skin to be in their state now. I needed a few years to understand them. I need time to fully love them.
Don’t beat yourself up if acnes showed up. Don’t beat yourself up when you forgot your skincare. Don’t beat yourself up if somehow something doesn’t go as planned or if you didn’t achieve your goal within a time you set for yourself.
4. Remembering these things.
Having problematic skin is not your fault. Never let anyone makes you believe that it’s somehow your fault.
Everyone wants clear, blemish less skin. Nobody wants to be an acne fighter. It cost money, it cost time, it cost your mental health (listening to people and getting your ears hot and heart broken).
Be kind to yourself. People had been mean to you, the least you can do is to be the person who is kind to yourself.
Does this words sound familiar to you?
“Have you tried you know, washing your face?”
The girl that probably parties every weekend, slept with makeup on and probably wash her face less than you
“You should try x and x product, it helped our customers with their acnes, yours should too!”
Probably a sales associate trying to make ends meet
Yep. I’ve been there. Listen, the people you should take into consideration are:
Yourself ✨
your favorite dermatologists 🥰 (I listen to the dermatologists in social media too. Nothing wrong with that)
And the people that are kind to you. Who supports you and you can feel that they are not condescending towards your problems.
Repeat after me.
We. Do. Not. Need. Condescending. People. Commenting. About. A. Problem. They. Might. Not. Even. Have
After myself and the dermatologists, I actually listen to some kind sales associates that I’ve met over the years.
I have the sweetest sales associates. Even when I have acne they never judged or say anything harsh, I always ask them for any new products they recommended. They are such gems, very grateful to meet them.
I’m very sure acne fighters will always remember the people that were kind to them. Because those kind of people are rare, and they are truly genuine.
5. What works for me
This part here is not so that you follow my steps, but the things you can learn to understand about your skin.
1. Foods that set off my skin.
For me I noticed my skin reacted really badly with dairy products (especially milk. Yoghurt, ice cream and cheese too but to a lesser extend) and poultry. I started getting redness on my nose area and under eye, and then starting to itch and boom, next day a big pimple appeared like a wild pokemon 🐥
So I did reduced my dairy and poultry intake and has been somewhat “dairy free” (I still eat cheese, yoghurt and icecreams though) and poultry free for 5 years now.
Pay attention to what food and habits that made your skin act up. Even when most researches don’t link dairy and acne, I believe that there are things that doesn’t always make sense and there would be someone that doesn’t really fit into the general population (after all we are different individuals), I’ve met some people who said that when they avoid eggs their skin gets better. When they avoided sugar their skin gets better. Etc.
2. Ingredients I am sensitive towards to
I am allergic to some fruit extracts and some preservatives in skin care. How do I know this? I gather the things that worked and didn’t work for me, and crosschecking what are the ingredients that appeared multiple times in the things that didn’t work.
It may take a while to find out but it pays off well. I learn to read every ingredient lists trying good things and avoiding those that have things that triggers my skin.
3. Daily skincare that my skin appreciate
My skin loves moisturizers.
I think if my skin could speak they will sing and makes poetries about their love towards moisturizers 😂
My skin loves the clear ish moisturizers, ones that hydrate well but not too thick.
My skin loves moisturizing face wash. Which is weird since my skin is oily, but they love face washes thats meant for drier skin.
Every morning after I woke up I prepare breakfast and proceed to eat breakfast, then I took a shower and then brush my teeth, washing my hands (important!) then wash my face with moisturizing face wash and cold water (I find my skin doesn’t get red as much with cold water).
Why it is in that sequence? Simple, because my skin is sensitive to some ingredients in toothpaste and mouth wash. So I always wash my hands after brushing my teeth and wash my face afterwards.
Then I use hand sanitizer (again, clean hands helped), a alcohol free toner, serum (I like vitamin C serums for brightening, moisturizing and anti oxidant), emulsion (a lightweight moisturizer), then moisturizer. Sunscreen. Then makeup.
For night it’s almost the same as in the morning but I use heavier serum, emulsion and moisturizer. I exfoliate with AHA toner (my skin is a bit too sensitive for stronger retinoids) twice a week after washing my face and before my normal toner. sometimes I use facial masks, but not routinely.
My skin tolerate masks well. Some of my seniors put tissue between their skin and mask because they get acne using masks.
I always remember to wash my hands and using hand sanitizers when touching my face 😂, even though in the day I sometimes touch my face and forgot to do so. But washing hands is a good habit to have.
My skin now.
No makeup, sunlight, just woken up. Taken with iPhone 13 front camera. No filter, I promise.
You could see the post acne scars and some redness which is just my skin being sensitive like it’s owner 😂 but in real life it’s good. I am very happy with how it looks now.
These are pictures of real skin from a graduate acne fighter. It has been through a lot. It had received lots of painful comment from other people.
I never did any laser or medical procedures between the first photo and today.
And I am grateful that it’s in the state it’s in now. I sometimes get acne when it’s TOTM especially around my chin. And my nose is like rudolph the rednose reindeer 🦌 especially when I eat a little bit too much icecream or cake 🍦🍰. I get redness on my chin too, to the point when people point out my lipstick smudged 💄 and I said it’s just my skin being sensitive ✨.
And that wraps up this lengthy post!
Thankyou for reading and sorry for the long post! I hope this somehow helped you.
Last message from me for this post is, sometimes what you thought as acne might not be acne, so better to see your dermatologist or medical provider if you are unsure.
I’ve been there fellow acne fighters. I know how frustrating and draining it is. How some people just are so mean about it. How you scrolled through countless social media post and wishing how much it was different.
You will get through this. You know you will.
I’ve met people who said things like “the people who criticize your appearance are those who cares about you.”
No. Just no.
You don’t deserve to be criticized for something you don’t want. You don’t deserve to feel shitty about something you couldn’t control.
Please don’t let other people said it’s your fault. Please don’t believe it’s your fault.
They don’t know what’s it like. If they do know, they wouldn’t say those things in the first place because they know how much it hurt them in the past.
Have a good day guys!
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